“Wherefore, my beloved brethren let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” (James 1; 19 KJV)

“He who is slow to wrath is of great understanding.” (Proverbs 14:29 KJV)

We all know that as long as we continue to live, we will keep hearing pleasant and unpleasant things. But then, we are expected to think wisely and find out whether what we heard is true or false. Sometimes you may be accused of something you did not do and on hearing such accusation you tend to react in an aggressive manner. Such things would be there to strengthen your faith. Temptations and trials are there, not to go get you down but up and strong in the Lord. When the devil is placing you on trials know, that there are precious things IN YOU WHICH HE IS LOOKING FOR and ONE OF THEM IS YOUR SALVATION. If the devil will be able to get your salvation, he has gotten the most precious thing in your life. So in all trials and temptations, remember the death of Jesus on the cross of Calvary and defend your salvation.


Listen very carefully, when you hear something that was said against you, you should not pick offense at the moment. You should relax and let the anger that wanted to spring up go off. Then, if you must talk by going to the person who you were told said something bad against you, please do it in a calm tone and responsible manner. Just ask him / her, “Please I want to ask you a question, would you be offended by my question?” Why you are seeking his / her opinion is to know whether he/she is happy or unhappy at that very moment. And again, you are trying to seek his permission to ask him a question so that you will not arouse his anger.

Then, the second question you should ask him/her is this, “Please look at what I heard, is it true?” However, you are trying to find out the truth. If he admitted that it is true, you go ahead and ask him/her, “Please don’t be offended by the way I ask you questions but why did you say that?” By probing this way, you are trying to know the reasons behind what he said: then when you might have known the reason, whether or not his / her reason is genuine, you add, “That is what I have come to find out and I hope you are not offended.” Do not start quarreling because it may spring up offenses that may cause hatred between both of you. On the other hand, if he/she denied saying it, you will also add, “I am sorry for any embarrassment I may have caused you; it is just that I heard it and I wanted to be sure by finding out from you if it was true.” You will discover that if you have gone in anger, you would have destroyed his/ her interest than gaining it. And by asking him questions in a polite manner, you have taught him wisdom.


As far as you know you did not do it, you should not just get offended. But then, if in the process you got annoyed, try to control it by leaving the scene or the presence of the person for a solitary place so that the anger will subside. But if there was no way you could go out from him/ her just try as much as you can to calm him /her down by letting the person know that you did not do it which he/she accused you of in a low tone of voice. Know that you cannot calm down somebody who is angry with you when your voice is high.

Finally, when you know you have done something that will make somebody pick offense against you in so much that they may want to challenge you, please note that the simplest way to calm them down is to say, “Please I am very sorry for offending you, please forgive me.” And I believe that by saying this, the case would be settled.

“A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.” (Proverb 15:1 KJV)

First of all, I want you to know that why you do all these is to maintain peace with those who are offended by you.

For it written, “If it is possible, as much as possible, live peaceably with all men.” (Romans 12:18 KJV)

“Follow peace with all men and holiness without which no man shall see the Lord.” (Hebrew 12:14 KJV)

Secondly, because you are going somewhere beyond this corrupt world, there should not be anything that will prevent you from going there.


Nothing depicts the characters of Christ to humanity than our relationship with one another. It teaches mankind the difference between religion and Christianity. Christianity is God setting man free from all bondages of Satan, but religion is the man getting himself enslaved by Satan.

Our relationship with others will either present Christ or Satan to them. It should make others see Christ as real as what their hand can hold. We should make the Holy Spirit a reality to the people around us. People around us will not believe we are Christians when we are not in a good relationship with them. They won’t like to do anything with us when we say we are of Christ while our behaviors are that of the devil. Our relationship with the people around us is expected to enthrone Christ and dethrone the devil. It is not to enthrone the devil and praise him in our lives. But some Christians are making the devil proud by the way they live their lives. They would say they love God, but their lifestyles say otherwise. Jesus said, “And thou shall love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength. This is the first commandment. And the second is like, thou shall love thy neighbor as thyself.” (Mark 12:30-31 KJV)

When we love our neighbors, we are equally letting God know that we love Him. Our love should be shown in the way we care for others. We should not show pretentious love, claiming to love when our mind is filled with hatred. The mind that hates cannot show sincere love rather its love is shown in pretense. Love should be shown in sincerity. We should not allow grudge to dominate our minds.

James said, “Grudge condemns one before God. It is a barrier to answers to their prayers. Grudge has the ability to prevent spiritual gifts from functioning well, as some people spiritual gifts have been hindered because of the grudge they have against somebody who has offended them. Grudge makes spiritual gift unfruitful because it is the devil’s weapon of war against the children of God. Grudge has made some Christians  abandon their neighbors when they should be caring for them.”

The Bible says, “Use hospitality one to another without grudging.” (1 Peter 4:9 KJV)

We should be showing friendly and generous behavior towards our neighbors. When somebody around you needs something you know you can provide for them, you should provide for them without minding how they will react to it. God who sees your work will reward you bountifully. A grudge is evidence of total Unforgiveness. It is the fruit of a mind without Christ. We should understand that as long as we are still in the world, offenses will come to us day after day and while they are coming, we should create a great oasis of forgiveness in our minds. By doing this, we will have no space for grudge in our minds.

Jesus said, “If you are presenting a sacrifice on the altar of a temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.” (Matthew 5:23-24 KJV).

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